The secret behind doing it all? - Dont do it all.

Yes, I have found the key behind being the super mommy. Nobody is in the real world. They just prioritize and spread out the chores, along with managing work and that munchkin in tow, leaving time for that huge meltdown. Kidding about the meltdown.

What appears to be a super mommy who has it all, the job, the kid all dolled up, the house, even more dolled up while having time to go on vacations, go out on the town, all the while whipping up fabulous food..well thats what it appears. Seeing these women at work day to day will reveal the constant computations going on in their mind and life.

I have come to think about this a lot recently. When I first came over to US, ditching a fab consulting job for a dependent visa status, when you are forbidden to even look for work, I hadnt the slightest clue what I had bargained for. Days stretching into months of actually doing nothing, as in my mind's eye there was nothing to do. I was severely down, and then the baby came along hitting me with post partum blues in an already wierd situation. Having given up hope of working...ever, I  did enjoy motherhood couple of months into it, and the munchkin was a source of constant smiles. I got adjusted to the US lifestyle, the whole jing - bang of learning to drive, doing ALL chores at home and some.

Then my India trip happened, and just like that I was thrown into the middle of opportunity. I belong here and  can have a job if I so choose. I was tempted to try my luck and wanted to see if I was still viable. With really low expectations, I gave a couple of interviews, in safe industries ( I had done that kind of work before). I had a job in 10 days and found myself  in a quandary. Here I was on vacation, getting ready to go back to that life in US, where you hardly see people for days and now I had the opportunity to again get back to who I was. Long discussions with husband, family followed, and before I knew what hit me, I had reported to my first day at work, with a one year old safely taken care of by mom and husband who flew back, hoping his wife will call it quits in a month.

Did I? Well, it clearly wasn't easy. When I had quit work the first time around, I was a pro at consulting. This time around, it took hours to even format a powerpoint slide. At work, younger collegues were talking behind my back, and I was just about done trying to fit back. Then, call it luck, an opportunity to consult an investment bank arose, and my client was looking for a person who understood the US political environment to the T. I had spend my last two years just reading news, and that heped me ease into my new role. Before I knew it I was at the top of my game again, and my confidence started seeping back. I was achieving more and more during the day, taking care of home, expenses, child, their security, everything on my own. It was a huge high for me. After one year of exceptional performance, I told my client and boss, that I now wish to move back to US, where my husband was, and had promised, I would be back, after having taken care of my so to speak 'confidence issues' .

I did come back. And guess what, opportunity struck again. A company hired me in the US, and the Indian company I worked with , hired me as well, on a consulting basis. I do strongly believe now that opportunity begets opportunity.
 Lo and behold, in a years time I had gone from having no work, and zero opportunities to working two jobs, handling home, chores and kid. And slowly but surely I could do it all, not on a daily basis but on a weekly basis.Thats what any wannabe super mommy shold shoot for. From last Friday till this one, did I cook, atleast 3 dinners, did laundary twice a week, worked on one job for full day and manage expectations for another and then reverse the priority the next day? On Friday, take stock.

You will see, you end up with clean house, food on the table, happy kid, both jobs reasonably taken care of, and still an open calendar to add a random roulette wheel activity that you might wish to do. Chances are you might have read a couple of interesting books on your ebook device as well. Look closely, and there will be glaring imperfections, but for an outsider, you ARE the super mommy :) (Ofcourse you will need dear husband to pitch in time and again, but most of this can be done alone). As I write, I am email firefighting at work, chatting on FB, helping munchkin draw and colour, laundry is being done, and half the house is clean, with the other half left to be done. Veggies are chopped, and dinner menu is on the fridge. Look closely, it appears to be falling apart, but its not. Am I happy? I am busy and that makes me very happy. Thats who I am.

PS: A super mommy's tools: A BIG tote bag, ability to drive like a maniac, wrinkle free dresses, frozen veggies in the freezer, lots of bread and quick meal ideas, blackberry/smartphone to answer emails while waiting at intersections, a corner office to take care of one job's emails on the other job :). And overall the spirit, and the need to be constantly on the move. You are all set.